As a witness to other peoples experiences, I often notice that people come to therapy believing the problem is simply stress, overwhelm, anxiety, or feeling stuck. And sometimes that is true. But often, underneath those experiences, there is also something more systemic influencing how we move through life: our perception and relationship with time.

This is something I’ve become deeply curious about, not only through my work, but through my own lived experience of having mixed heritage shaped by both more monochronic and more polychronic cultural worlds. In some spaces, time is central, scheduled, and tightly kept. In others, time is relational, flexible, and shaped around people, place, and presence. Some of us know this tension well through phrases like “time is money” on one hand, and going with the flow statements like being on “island time”, on the other.

Neither way of being is inherently better. But each one reflects a different set of values. And each one can affect our mental health, behaviours, relationships, sense of self, and overall wellbeing.

In this article, I’ll share these explorations, on:

• what monochronic and polychronic time mean

• where these ideas come from

• how they show up in workplaces and intercultural relationships

• how time orientation can influence anxiety and depression

• the strengths and limitations of each perspective

• and why being “present” alone is not enough to overcome poverty, oppression, or trauma

The concepts of monochronic time and polychronic time are traced back to anthropologist Edward T. Hall, who wrote about how culture influences communication, behaviour, and time orientation.

In simple terms:

Polychronic Time

A polychronic approach to time tends to value:

• relationships being prioritised

• flexibility with plans

• multiple things happening at once

• responsiveness to people and context

• presence and connection

• time as something lived, not just measured

This way of relating to time is often more familiar across many communal, relational, diasporic, island, Indigenous, and global majority contexts, though of course no culture is only one thing.

These terms can provide context, but they are not applicable in all environments and cultures. They come from a particular academic lens, and many cultures already have their own language for time, rhythm, seasonality, community obligation, and relational presence. So rather than using these concepts as fixed boxes, I see them as useful invitations for reflection.

One of the reasons this conversation matters is because time is never just about time.

It is also about:

• what gets prioritised

• what gets rewarded

• what gets judged

• what is seen as respectful

• what is seen as responsible

• and whose way of being is centred

In a monochronic culture, being “on time” may be interpreted as respectful, organised, and committed.

In a more polychronic culture, stopping for a conversation, tending to family, or making room for the moment may also be interpreted as respectful, caring, and committed.

This is where misunderstandings often begin.

One person may think:
“If this mattered to you, you would have arrived on time.”

Another may think:
“If you cared about people’s wellbeing, you would understand why I stopped to help.”

Neither person is necessarily wrong. But they may be operating from very different assumptions about what time is for.

The workplace is one of the clearest places these differences show up.

In More Polychronic or Relational Contexts

Professionalism may also include:

• making time for connection

• responding to people before tasks

• flexibility around transitions

• attending to community or family needs

• allowing conversation to unfold

• adapting to the moment rather than forcing rigid structure

This can create warmth, responsiveness, and stronger human connection. It can also reduce the sense that people matter less than the schedule.

But when these two value systems meet without awareness, conflict can arise quickly. Someone may be seen as “too rigid,” “unprofessional,” “disorganised,” or “unreliable,” when what is really happening is a clash in priorities.

These differences also show up in couples, friendships, families, and communities.

Another may feel safest with:

• flexibility

• adaptability

• responsiveness

• prioritising needs

This can create painful misunderstandings, especially in intercultural relationship;

The other partner may hear:
“You care more about control than connection.”

Underneath that may be another deeper feeling:
“I don’t feel understood.”

These are rarely just arguments about time. They are often about care, belonging, loyalty, safety, and whose values are allowed to lead.

One of the reasons I find this topic so reflective of themes in therapy is because our relationship with time can shape how distress is experienced in the body and mind.

Depression and the Past

Depression can often have a different time pull.

It may sound like:

• I can’t stop thinking about what happened

• I should have done things differently

• Can’t stop ruminating over that event

• I can’t move on

• something in me is still stuck there

Depression can hold us in the heaviness of what has already occurred, especially if those experiences were painful, unresolved, or dis-enabling.

This is part of why time fixation can leave us feeling powerless. We cannot live in the future, and we cannot return to the past.

Yet our minds and bodies can become trapped in both.

Of course, real life is more complex than a simple formula. Anxiety can be shaped by past trauma.

Depression can include hopelessness about the future. But it is still helpful to notice how often distress pulls us away from the present moment in different ways.

Benefits of Polychronic Time

Polychronic ways of living also carry important strengths.

These can include:

• presence

• flexibility

• relational depth

• community-mindedness

• responsiveness

• adaptability

• warmth

• valuing people over rigid systems

Many people feel more relaxed, more autonomous, and more resourced when time is not treated as the ultimate authority. There can be real nervous system relief in environments where conversation, meals, family, ceremony, grief, and togetherness are not rushed.

This is part of why so many people feel a sense of exhale in more relational cultures or family systems. There is often more permission to be with life as it is happening, rather than constantly trying to get ahead of it.

Pitfalls of Polychronic Time

Polychronic living also has its challenges, especially when people are navigating systems that do not honour it.

Its pitfalls can include:

• blurred boundaries

• overcommitment

• difficulties with follow-through

• chronic lateness

• role overload

• competing obligations

• frustration in structured systems

• emotional strain from always being available

So this is not about romanticising polychronic time either. Relationship-centred living can be nourishing, but without boundaries it can also become exhausting.

Is One Better for Mental Health and Wellbeing?

This is where the topic becomes more nuanced.

It may be tempting to assume that a more present-focused, relational, polychronic lifestyle naturally leads to greater happiness or better mental health. And in some ways, it may offer protective factors, especially through connection, community, and less rigid pressure around productivity.

But it is not that simple.

Wellbeing is shaped by far more than time orientation alone. Mental health is also affected by:

• social support

• safety

• trauma exposure

• inequity
  

This is why I think it is important to be cautious when comparing time cultures with something like the World Happiness Index.

A culture may be deeply relational and present-centred, but if people are living under structural hardship, that does not disappear simply because they are “in the moment.”

Presence matters.
Connection matters.
Community matters.

But trauma cannot always be regulated away through mindfulness alone. Poverty cannot be solved by slowing down. Oppression cannot be healed simply by learning to be more present.

That would place far too much responsibility on individuals while ignoring the systems shaping their suffering.

So while relational and polychronic ways of being may offer protective qualities, they do not cancel out the mental health effects of injustice, deprivation, or trauma.

What Research Says About Time, Culture, and Wellbeing

Research in intercultural communication has long recognised monochronic and polychronic time as meaningful frameworks for understanding how cultures prioritise tasks, relationships, and scheduling.

Research in psychology also supports the idea that time orientation affects wellbeing. Studies have linked anxiety more strongly with future-based anticipation and threat, and depression with loss, stuckness, and past-oriented distress. Broader wellbeing research also suggests that social support, hope, safety, and material conditions strongly influence happiness and life satisfaction.

So while there is value in exploring time perception and mental health together, the research also reminds us not to oversimplify the picture. The human experience of wellbeing is relational, psychological, social, economic, and political.

A More Integrative Way to Relate to Time

In therapy, work and life, it’s not about pushing someone fully toward one way of being.

Instead, I’m often more curious about how we can build a more compassionate and integrative relationship with time.

That might mean:

• enough structure to feel supported

• enough flexibility to stay open to the possibilities

• enough planning to reduce stress

• enough presence to actually experience life

• enough boundaries to avoid overwhelm

• enough relational space to feel connected

For some people, healing involves softening the urgency of monochronic pressure. For others, it involves building a little more structure so life feels steadier. For many, it is both.

Gentle Reflection Questions

If this topic resonates, you might reflect further with some of these journalling prompts:

• What did I learn about time growing up?

• Was punctuality linked to worth, safety, or respect?

• Was flexibility linked to care, belonging, or survival?

• When do I feel most regulated: with structure, flexibility, or a mix of both?

• What do I judge in others that may actually reflect a different cultural relationship to time?

• Where do I need more conscious responses in life?

• Where do I need more support and structure?

These questions are not about blaming yourself or your family or culture. They are simply an invitation to notice what shaped you, and what now supports your clarity and well-being.

Final Thoughts

Our relationship with time is often more emotional, cultural, and embodied than we realise.

Some of us have been taught to chase time.
Some of us have been taught to go with the flow.
Some of us are trying to survive between worlds and environments that hold very different expectations.

If you recognise yourself in the pressure of always needing to get somewhere, you are not failing.

If you recognise yourself in a more relational, flexible way of being, you are not inherently disorganised.

You may simply be carrying a different set of values, norms, and adaptations.

There is wisdom in structure.
There is wisdom in presence.
And there is often healing in exploring where you’re at, rather than forcing yourself into one or the other.

If you’d like support exploring your relationship with time, anxiety, overwhelm, or cultural identity in a collaborative and compassionate way, you’re welcome to reach out when you’re ready.

References

Hall’s monochronic and polychronic framework and later intercultural communication research:

• Kaufman-Scarborough, C. (2017). Monochronic and Polychronic Time.

Research related to anxiety, depression, time orientation, and wellbeing:

• Eysenck, M. W., & Fajkowska, M. (2018). Anxiety and depression: toward overlapping and distinctive features.

• Caplan, R. D., Tripathi, R. C., & Naidu, R. K. (1985). Subjective past, present, and future fit: effects on anxiety, depression, and other indicators of well-being.

• Öztekin, G. G., Gómez-Salgado, J., & Yıldırım, M. (2025). Future anxiety, depression and stress among undergraduate students.

• Hohls, J. K., König, H.-H., Quirke, E., & Hajek, A. (2021). Anxiety, Depression and Quality of Life—A Systematic Review of Evidence from Longitudinal Observational Studies.

• Health, Hope, and Harmony: A Systematic Review of the Determinants of Happiness across Cultures and Countries.

• World Happiness Report.

• Our World in Data: Happiness and Life Satisfaction.